50 times!

"Happy half a century!" Andrew said when the flight landed. Took me a few moments, but oh yes, that was my 50th crossing of that ocean.

3 feelings:
- Incredibly, overwhelmingly grateful - that I have been able to come back so often. That Andrew is willing to make it happen.
- Perplexed at how it all came to this!!! - I did consciously and deliberately choose to marry this handsome Aussie guy - of course! - but sometimes I am just baffled at the reality of it all. The very good reality. And also the very much harder-than-i-ever-realised reality. No regrets, just harder than my 21-year old self could have known.
- Tired. - Jetlag? Maybe. But I suspect I've lost days and weeks of my life in travel. Literally. And although the kids travel well, it still completely exhausts me.

But I'm here, and I know crossing that ocean is more than worth it. All 50 times. 

Because Grandparents are worth it.

And cousins are worth it too.

 Great-grandparents are so worth it.

And the sight of those 19 stockings is definitely worth it!

Too many goodbyes

I can hardly bear to post this. My grandpa died yesterday. All of my grandparents were alive in July, and now 3 of them have died and it's a bit much. There's some sadness settled in me right now. I want to say how glad I am that he didn't suffer from his disease any longer. I want to say its all okay. But I'm just sad. So goodbye to my card-playing, cigar-smoking, fun-loving, laughing-loud, always-feisty, wine-drinking, truly-loyal, and patient-to-the-end grandfather. Back in the day we would play cards till 3am, only going to bed cause Andrew and I were exhausted. I'll never play pinochle again without thinking of Grandma and Grandpa. It was a fun relationship we had with them both. I'm so sorry Grandma that you feel so lost without him, and I'm sorry Dad that you've lost your fun-loving Dad.

Yeah, I'll miss that smile, that's very you. 

19something

Okay Mom and Dad. Here's your sweet revenge, I guess. Or whatever this is called.

Daniel was telling me some cool fact about football, some major comeback a team had in the Grand Final one year.

Me: "What year was that?"
Daniel: "Oh, 19something."

Oh that's right. I used to think that 1949 and 1951 were an unfathomable number of years ago (sorry mom and dad). So "19something" is plenty specific enough for someone born in 2004. Of course. OSM. Thanks Daniel.

Another Goodbye

It's not been that long since saying goodbye to my Grandpa. But sadly, and also with some relief for her sake, Grandma didn't have much more time than he did. I am glad that she didn't have to live in her room for years not knowing or remembering anyone. But I am full of sadness for my parents - for my mom losing both her parents this year. Because I think it's living without people that's truly hard. Grandma, today I had a cream-filled cupcake and thought of you. I think you made them too, way back when. I know I should have probably had a chocolate chip cookie, but there was this cupcake sitting there calling my name, so I made a coffee and said Happy Birthday to you, for what would have been 94 years. Thank you for everything your life has been, you did it so WELL.

 

A big year

This has been a big year for us, for a lot of reasons. Most of all because this little girl has changed our life. As would any child really. With fostering it's just been a whole different ballgame though. Actually some days it doesn't feel any different. But then in that moment of feeling like it's no different, I am aware that it IS different. She does have a birth mum and dad, and it's not us. They are her family AND we are her family.

So while she has grown up this year in our family, I have grown too. And I have this feeling that there is so much more to come, so many more things to learn. We have been so privileged to have this year with her. We hope very much that she will always be in our family.

Happy birthday sweet cheeky girl. We love your squishy face, your clapping, your unrestrained love for your stuffed animals, your ever-increasing will, and your affection. I am grateful for everything you have brought to our lives this past year.

A few moments after we first met her

A few weeks later

Seriously cute stuff at 7 months old

And now a whole year old...

You aren't going to say don't touch, are you?

Oh that was a lot of chocolate in one hit

I really don't want to be on this couch taking a 1-year old photo

Happy 1st birthday, we all love you like crazy girl. 

While the boys are away...

These boys just left for the Philippines...

So we're just chilling out,

doing things like having sleepovers in the living room,

eating dinner on the benchtop with our bare hands 

(a TOTAL hit, you'd think I never feed her!), 

taking kids (and one super cute nephew!!) to a local school fair 

to watch a family with 6 kids do circus acts 

(that's dad, mum, and the boy on top is 5),

 eat fairy floss/cotton candy, and generally keep busy. 

Keeping busy and relaxed. It's a lost art, I can tell you!

Now I'm off to settle in for another night on the couch 

with kids sleeping all around me. 

Kinda fun cause I feel like a kid doing it too!

Disturbing, but totally understandable, I think... :)

This girl has brothers.

So while in other circumstances I might have been bothered by this conversation, I guess I was actually amused at the things a little girl learns when she has brothers:

"Mum, you know what a hammer looks like?"

"Yeah."

"Well it only has one side that you use. But a pick axe has 2 sharp sides, so when you are in a battle, and you've just gotten someone in front of you, and you hear someone creeping up behind you, you can just (motions the movement of using a pickaxe)... get them!"

"Oh, okay. Geez! [sigh]"

Coming from this girl, who spends her time doing the splits and definitely not researching pickaxes, it was very hard to keep a straight face while she educated me!

In other news, she's lost a tooth (I pulled it out actually!)

and was completely obsessed with figuring out if the tooth fairy was real, and is now absorbed in the book TF left for her, "Clementine Rose". Hmmm, I wonder if Clementine Rose taught her about pickaxes...

Another day, another 5 year old.

Has my 3rd child just turned 5? Yes, yes he has. Probably the most anticipated of them all. Having older siblings means there's a short but very important list of things-you-must-wait-till-you-turn-five-to-get.

Pocket money.

Sleeping on the top bunk.

So after going to see Planes on the morning of his birthday, a jungle party with a few friends at home, a few aussie football presents, pocket money to spend (although I'm thinking there will be some disappointment when he discovers $1 won't buy all the things he's been waiting to buy!), Nick's favourite thing at the end of the day was being on the top bunk. 

Guess that's what makes him feel big !

Nick, you're a gorgeous smiling 5 year old and even though we always tell you not to grow up, you keep doing it and of course we love it. Happy 5th birthday to you. You're a joyful clever little thing, always surprising us with what you know. And although you've always been the youngest, this last year has been very special seeing you becoming a responsible and doting big brother as well.

Guess what?!

We get to bring this little one with us to the U.S. at Christmas! We feel very pleased to have gotten permission for her to travel internationally with us. We felt hopeful that it would happen, but the permission came through much much faster than we expected, so we're relieved that it's not a big unknown anymore. She'll be 1 year old by Christmastime, and really is a part of our family, so it's great she doesn't have to stay with people she doesn't know. Now back to plane flights with a baby, oh help me.....

I love this picture even though it's blurry. She's very loved at school, and although the girls mostly get to her first for cuddles, occasionally the boys do too. This was at a school science fair, and I'd just put her down to play on the floor, looked back and these boys were already playing with her. 

Wedding day

My sister got married today! It was a beautifully relaxed day, all went smoothly, no one fainted during the ceremony, and we only panicked when the bride and groom disappeared as they walked out after the ceremony. Where did Jill and John go? We looked for ages, and found them waiting for us to come get them in another spot. Hmmm, at least that's their story. :)

Congratulations Jill and John, and may your years ahead be everything you dream and more!