40...really?

It doesn't seem that long ago I was pregnant and turning 30. Seemed such a huge milestone, but nothing was changing - I was already in the middle of what life was going to be for awhile. Sure I was having another baby, but really life wasn't changing that much. I was continuing on, just with another child. I was totally OK with turning 30. At least I think I was. I did love my 20's, but as life had evolved into being a mother, that was a very welcome thing, and 30 was a part of that.

Now 40 is here and those kids are, well, older! From ages 3 to 11. I'm not pregnant. Nope. We may do more fostering soon, time will tell what that will look like. And maybe life isn't changing that much as I turn 40, but wow it HAS changed in this last decade. Wrinkles, yeah they are coming fast! But I like what I've learned in 10 years. I like what my life is. I MISS people - the ones who are far away, the ones who are no longer alive, the ones I am not doing life with that I thought I would be...

But I am so thankful for what is: 

GOD (a deeper relationship and trust with my creator!)

ANDREW (how much and how deeply I love that man)

These KIDS (constant joy and constant effort...)

GOOD friends (doing life together in different ways, encouraging, supporting)

FAMILY here (sharing life day to day, being friends!)

FAMILY far away (so missed, but right there on WhatsApp!!)

There are so many things in my life that would not BE if I did not MISS people. It's part of it all. All the missing, all the deep, heart-burning loss - it is what makes up the whole picture of my life. Doesn't appeal logically, but I am so very grateful for the journey and for what IS, right NOW. 

So it looks as if I'm okay with 40 too.

The people I spend my days with...